Take a walk on the wallow side

It’s October and I’m happy. Fall is my time. I love the changing of the light and the way the afternoon sun seems to be a reminder of warmth rather than the full on attack of August heat. The only thing burning is the color of the leaves. I also like fall because my birthday is in November. I have a theory that most people, if asked to name their favorite season, will choose the one in which they were born. Maybe it’s because of the neural memory of a celebrations and presents but I suspect it’s just that we are more aware of colors, smells and sounds when there is a sense of expectation. I look forward to the months ahead if only for the chance to look at the darkening sky and ponder the temporal nature of life. It is such a great relief for my New England heart to see the empty trees and feel the chill of oncoming winter. Call me crazy but when the weather is bleak and sad- I’m happy. This is what I know and what I love.

So, I’ll be smiling when the rain starts and the winds gust. And I’ll be humming happily when the forecast includes snow. And I’ll be whispering incantations of winter when others are muttering expletives at the clouds. What can I say, I like the introspective energy of winter. As a tarot reader I know that more people will seek me out when the weather sucks, than when it’s sunny and gorgeous. People don’t really want to focus on their personal struggles when it’s 75 degrees and Greenlake is calling. They only want to run free with the wind in their hair and grass under bare feet! Who can blame them?

But when the winter rains set in everything changes. Our thoughts turn inward as we turn up the heat and pull out the wool blankets. The sun disappears around 4pm and we’re left to wander in the waning light with our darkening thoughts – Where am I heading? What am I really doing here? It’s a veritable feast of insecurity and ennui. And we’re eating it all and wondering if there is any dessert.

Well, all I can say is, this is your chance to dig in the dark and dance with the devil. Seriously, this is the best time to just let yourself embrace those bittersweet thoughts that can make you a deeper and more aware person. We learn true compassion for others when we’re in touch with the pain of our own lives. Self-awareness can never be overrated. So get in there in and put on some shoe-gazing tunes and take a walk on the wallow side. It’ll do you good. And if you need a little perspective afterwards call me – we’ll turn some cards and see what the inner weather will be.